Love What You Lost
by LoveAlisonKing
Summary: When Peter learns the truth about Suzie, he re-forms a close bond he once had with someone special over something they both lost
1. Chapter 1

She's... she's Eva's child." Toyah sighed.

Peter sank down into the chair.

"You what?" He questioned. "But how..?"

"Eva was pregnant with Aidan's baby.. She didn't want her.. then Jacqui lost our baby." Toyah revealed. "Peter, I'm so sorry. It made sense at the time."

"What?! For you to lie to me all this time?" Peter stood up.

"Just let me explain." Toyah begged.

"I think you've done enough talking." Peter said as he headed for the door.

Peter walked past a sleeping Suzie in her cot as he headed towards the door. He stopped in his tracks and peeked in to what he thought was his daughter. He gently lifted her up into his arms and walked out, setting her down into her pram.

"Peter come back! Please!" Toyah called.

"I'm taking her a walk." Peter said. "I need to think." he tried not to cry but was failing.

He tried to make a discreet exit from the pub, attempting to hide how upset he clearly was.

Nobody noticed except from one person. The one person who was always able to read him like a book. She also chose to exit the pub and follow him.

"Peter.." she called after him once he was away from the Main Street.

He turned around.

"... are you alright?" Carla asked.

Peter shook his head. "I don't even know where to start." He cried.

"Try the beginning.." Carla smiled as she moved closer to her ex.

"... So basically she's been lying to me all this time.." Peter finished his story. "Oh, and meet your niece."

"Wow.." Carla was shocked and didn't know what to say. "I can't believe she didn't tell you until now.. Why now?"

"I don't know. I guess she couldn't handle the lying anymore.."

"What's happening now with you two?" Carla asked.

"I honestly don't know." Peter shook his head. "I don't know if I can forgive her after all this but then where does that leave Suzie... Carla, I honestly don't know. My heads a mess. I'm not doing the single dad thing and Toyah sure as hell doesn't deserve to look after her on her own after all she's done."

Carla looked over to the sleeping baby in the pram next to them.

"She has Aidan's nose.." She trailed off.

Peter stood up and gently put his arms into the pram and lifted Suzie out. He held her out to Carla. "Here.. she is your niece after all and you haven't even held her."

Carla tensed up. "Oh no.. it's alright." she said quietly.

"You don't need to be so scared." Peter smiled. "She won't bite."

"No.. what if I do it wrong?" Carla looked down, away from the baby.

"Carla, you won't." Peter said. "Honest."

Carla took a deep breath as Peter placed Suzie into her arms. "See.. you're doing just fine." Peter said as Suzie continued to sleep peacefully in Carla's arms.

Carla looked down at the little girl in her arms. She was trying everything to hold back her emotions but failed.

"Hey.. why are you crying?" Peter asked.

"I'm not." Carla looked down.

"Yes you are..." he lifted her chin with his finger.

"Because our little girl would've been four years old..." Carla said quietly. "And now Aidan is missing his chance too."

Peter didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry I messed things up so much." He eventually spoke. "I know how much you wanted her.. I did too."

"She didn't want me.. Clearly." Carla said.

Peter shook his head. "That's not true. She was the luckiest girl in the world to have had you as a Mum, Carla. You would've been brilliant.." Peter said. "I know that just by looking at you with Suzie."

"Don't." Carla said, standing up and placing Suzie back in her pram. She turned to leave... But peter took her wrist.

"We never really spoke about her properly.." he trailed off.

Carla sighed. "Nobody ever did.."

"Sit back down, please" peter asked.

"You know at mine and Nick's wedding..." Carla trailed off as she sat down. "When the truth came out.. Gail told me I wasn't a mother.."

"Carla, I'm sorry.." Peter interrupted.

"I wasn't even able to listen to what she was saying to me. All I could think about was those four words... you're not a mother.. how could she say that?" A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Nick lost a baby too.. I couldn't understand how his mum could just forget like that. Forget one of the reasons that brought me and her son so close."

"You and Nick would've had a beautiful family.." Peter said.

"Don't say that either." Carla struggled. "I messed that up too. I'm so useless peter. I can't even keep my own child safe." She sighed, putting her head in her hands

Peter reached for her hand.

"You did... it just maybe wasn't the right time for us..."

"What would we have named her?" Carla asked. "Did you ever think about that?"

"Sometimes yeah..." Peter trailed off.

The pair sat in silence for a few moments remembering what they'd both lost before Suzie began to cry.

Peter tried to sooth her but it wasn't working. Her cries were getting louder and louder.

"Ssssshhh, Suzie come on." He tried.

"Pass her here" Carla offered, taking her from his arms.

"Hey baby girl, what's all the noise about?" Carla spoke gently to the little girl as she rocked her and within a few moments, her cries had stopped.

"See..." Peter was amazed. "You're a natural."

Carla was silent as Suzie fell asleep in her arms again. "I honestly think if Aidan had known... He might not have done what he did..."

"Possibly not.." Peter said.

"I miss him so much Peter..." Carla finally let out her emotions over Aidan that she'd been keeping bottled up for so long.

"Here, come here. It's alright..." he calmed her.

He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her into his body while she was still cradling Suzie and rocked them both as she cried into his shoulder.

He ran his hands through her hair as he calmed her. She eventually lifted her head off his shoulder. Their eyes met as she did so.

Peter moved his face closer to Carla's. Their lips were just a few inches apart. He lifted a sleeping Suzie from her arms and laid her down in her pram again. He returned his gaze to Carla. He took her hands in his and she accepted his touch. She moved one hand onto his cheek as she pulled his face closer to hers before their lips joined together.


	2. Chapter 2

"Peter..."

The pair suddenly broke apart quickly from their embrace to find Toyah staring at them.

"What.. what's going on?" She asked.

Carla stood up. "Could ask you the same question."

"Carla don't.." Peter warned.

"No, Peter. She needs to hear this." Carla said, taking a step towards Toyah. "What the hell were you thinking?! Letting him believe that Aidan and Eva's baby was your own surrogate's baby!" she raised her voice slightly.

"It was Eva's decision too.."

"Oh really Toyah? Is that why Eva has and carries around pictures of her and Suzie?"

Toyah was silent.

"That's my dead brothers child right there and he didn't even get the chance to be a father to her.. Because he had no idea she even was his.. And that's all down to you." Carla said. "She might've even kept him alive..."

"Carla I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't quite cut it this time... especially when Johnny and everyone finds out."

Toyah's eyes filled with panic. "No carla you can't. Please."

"Watch me." Carla gave her best death glare.

"Peter.." Toyah looked at him wanting some support.

"I'm sorry.." Peter said as he started to push the pram. "I think it's best you move your stuff from the pub."

"What so you can move her in?!" Toyah shouted. "... home wrecker" she said under her breath.

Before she knew what was happening, Carla's hand was colliding with her face. "I think you've done that all on your own, love." she said before walking away.

Eva was sat in front of all the pictures she had of her and Aidan, remembering all the good times they had when the doorbell rang.

She ignored it, being in no fit state for visitors. But it rang again and again.

She eventually opened it.

"Carla..."

"Can I come in please?"

Eva hesitated before letting her in.

Carla walked into the sitting room to see all the pictures. "Wow..."

"Sorry, I.." Eva started.

"No. You don't have to explain." Carla smiled as she sat down.

"He had such a lovely grin." She picked up one of the photos as Eva nodded in agreement.

"Listen, erm, I know the truth about Suzie."

Eva looked up in shock.

"So does peter."

"... how?"

"He found the photos of you and Suzie in hospital and Toyah came clean."

Eva put her head in her hands.

"Was that what you really wanted? To give your child away." Carla asked.

"To begin with, yes." Eva replied. "Then further into the pregnancy, I started having doubts.. But I couldn't let Toyah down."

"Eva, she is your daughter. Not Toyah's. You were perfectly able to change your mind... some people would love a daughter. I can't believe you just gave yours to your sister even though you secretly wanted her..."

Eva realised. "Oh god Carla, I'm so sorry.."

"If Aidan had known, it might've been enough to save him.." Carla said quietly.

"Carla don't. Don't you dare." Eva cried. "Don't you think I've thought that a hundred times already?!"

"Well now that the truths out what's going to happen? Peter's thrown Toyah out."

Eva sighed. "So the whole street knows?"

Carla shook her head. "Just me. But I am going to have to tell Johnny and the family.."

Eva said nothing.

"Are you going to take Suzie then? Be the mother to her that you should've been from the start..."

"I can't just take her away from them.." Eva said.

"If it's what you want, you can." Carla replied. "She is your daughter. Yours and Aidan's."

"... I do want her. So much." Eva cried.

"You wouldn't be on your own you know. You'd have us all.. After all, if Aidan was still here, I think she wouldn't have just saved him, she would've saved the both of you.." Carla smiled.

Later that day, Carla approached Johnny's flat. She was heading up the stairs to their door when she heard screaming and shouting. As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard a loud smash of glass and a cry.

She entered her dads flat as the door was unlocked.

She found Johnny staring in shock with a face of fear and anger. She followed his gaze to find Jenny holding the side of her face. She looked between the two of them. Neither said a word.

Carla's eyes then followed to the hundreds of pieces of tiny smashed glass at Jenny's feet.

"Jenny..." Carla spoke. "Are.. are you okay?"

Jenny moved her hand away from her face to reveal some blood. The glass had hit her face.

She looked down at her blood covered hand and let out a small cry. She ran for the door without saying a word.

Carla turned to Johnny who was still stood there, looking angry and headed towards him. She pulled out her phone and started dialling a number.

"What are you doing?!" He yelled as he grabbed her wrist with force and pulled the phone from her hand.

"Phoning Michelle." Carla yelled as she pulled her hand away from him. "To ask her to go after Jenny IF that's okay with you!"

Johnny started sobbing. "I'm.. Sorry." He managed to get out between his cries.

Carla signed. Johnny fell to the floor.

She wrapped her arms around her broken father. "It's alright... dad."

After a while, Johnny had calmed down.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell happened?" Carla asked.

"She was banging on and on about the funeral. I just got so angry. I don't know what happened... next thing I know, there's a glass going flying across the room."

"I didn't mean it..." Johnny said.

"And she'll know that deep down. You're just struggling... and grieving."

"I've had some really dark days since it happened Carla." Johnny revealed. "When I've been on my own... One day I considered it."

Carla placed her hand on his. "You're not on your own. Kate needs you, Jenny needs you and... I need you."

"And I needed Aidan."

"I know. We all did." Carla said. "And I know we all want to know why he did what he did... But please promise me you won't do that. And if you're having even the slightest thought about doing it, please call me. Please" Carla begged. "I've lost enough people I love over the years. I'm not having you be one more."

Johnny nodded. "I know.. I'm sorry.. I will... what did you come round for?"

"Just to see how you were doing. And I'm glad I did." Carla lied. She came with the intention of telling him about Aidan's daughter but he was in no fit state right now to receive this news. It would have to wait..


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Carla was walking the cobbles when she saw Simon.

"Si.." she called. "You alright?"

Simon shook his head. She could see he was clearly upset.

"Here, come with me." Carla smiled.

"I knew they were up to something and keeping something from my dad weeks ago.. But everyone thought I was just acting up." Simon said sadly.

Carla sighed.

Simon looked at the woman who was once his step mum.

"So if Suzie was Eva's baby, what happened to Jacqui's baby?" He questioned.

"Has nobody told you?" Carla was surprised.

"Told me what?" Simon asked. "I kicked off when I realised Eva and Toyah had lied to my dad.. I walked out."

"The baby that Jacqui was having for your dad and Toyah... He di... Jacqui lost him, sweetheart." Carla struggled to tell the young lad.

Simons eyes filled with tears. "... just like what happened to you and dad."

"Yeah.." Carla whispered.

"I'm sorry..." Simon said.

"What for?"

"For you losing my sister." Simon said. "I know it must've hurt you.. I really would've loved her.."

Carla couldn't hold her emotions in anymore and Simon wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I didn't mean to make you cry." Simon apologised, feeling guilty.

Carla shook her head. "It's alright.. Si, that means a lot... I'm sure she would've loved you too."

"Have you been back since you walked out?" Carla asked as Simon shook his head.

"Right lets get you back. They'll be worried." Carla said, standing up.

"No. I'm not going back to where Toyah is.."

Carla nodded. "I know. I'm taking you to your dad." She held out her hand to Simon as he took it.

"... Carla, hi." Ken said as he opened the front door of number one to see Carla and Simon on the doorstep.

"I'm assuming peter is here?"

Ken let the pair in as they walked in to find peter laid on the couch. Simon ran and hugged his dad.

"Dad can you give us a few minutes please?" Peter asked as Ken politely left the room.

"I found him walking the streets..." Carla explained.

"I'm sorry dad." Simon said.

"Si, you've got nothing to apologise for." Peter was confused.

"For my little brother..." Simon said. "And sister" he added as he looked at Carla.

Peters eyes filled with sadness.

"I'll never forgive Toyah." Simon said.

"Me neither, son."

Carla had taken herself to the kitchen by this point and was trying to hide her silent tears that were falling.

She didn't even acknowledge that peter had now entered the kitchen.

"Hey.." he startled her.

"I'm sorry."

"You're allowed to be upset." Peter said.

"Johnny still doesn't know." Carla said. "I went round yesterday all set to tell him... then he told me he's considered doing what Aidan did and I just couldn't."

"Oh Carla." Peter took her hand. "Maybe knowing that he still has a part of Aidan left in Suzie will bring him some comfort."

"Do you want me to come with you? He needs to know." Peter offered.

"Thankyou." Carla said as she kissed peter's cheek.

Carla pressed the buzzer for Johnny's flat for the fourth time. She pulled out her phone and started to dial his number.

As it was ringing, one of the other Victoria court residents exited the building and let them in.

Carla went up towards Johnny's flat with Peter and Suzie in tow and found the door closed but unlocked.

She let herself into the flat and found Johnny and Liz quickly break away from each other.

"What the...?!"

"Carla, erm" Johnny and liz both looked incredibly awkward as Liz grabbed her top pulling it back over her head.

"That's why you weren't answering."

"I'm going to make myself scarce" Liz made a quick exit.

"What are you doing?" Carla asked once Liz had shut the door. "You've got Jenny."

"I love Liz." Johnny confessed. "I don't feel anything for Jenny anymore..."

"You're grieving. You're not thinking straight." Carla said but Johnny disagreed.

"Liz is the only thing that makes any sense at the moment."

Johnny noticed peter standing awkwardly with baby Suzie.

"Erm what's he doing here?"

"Sit down. There's something I need to speak to you about."

Johnny sat down with Carla as peter sat on the sofa with Suzie.

"I don't know how to tell you this and I don't know how much of a good place you're in right now to hear this but..."

"Carla spit it out."

"Suzie is Aidan's daughter."

Johnny didn't say anything.

"Eva was pregnant with Aidan's child but she didn't want her.." Carla explained. "Then Toyah's surrogate lost her and peters baby. So Eva gave Suzie to Toyah and they passed her off as her baby."

"Why did you say anything?!" Johnny directed his question to peter.

"I only just found out! Toyah kept it from me all this time. She didn't even tell me our own baby had died."

"She might've saved my son. Did he know?!"

Carla shook her head sadly. "We don't think he did."

"Carla went to see Eva yesterday about it. Apparently Eva wants her now." Peter confessed.

"No." Johnny said firmly. "That's my granddaughter. The only part of my son I've got left. Eva isn't taking her. I'm seeing my lawyer first thing."

Carla stood up and went and took Suzie from Peter's arms, into her own. "Come meet your grandad sweetheart."

Carla placed the sleeping baby into Johnny's arms as he welled up.

"She looks just like him." Johnny whispered as he took in his very first moments with his first grandchild.

Peter and Carla were about to leave. "Where's she staying tonight? You aren't away to send her to Eva are you?" Johnny asked.

"No. I've got her tonight." Peter said. "After What Toyah has done she isn't having her."

Carla reached down and squeezed Peter's hand discreetly but Johnny still noticed.

"Are you two..?"

"Early days." Carla smiled as she looked at Peter.

"I hurt her in the past I know but I've changed and I've never fallen out of love with her." Peter told Johnny.

"In the past?" Johnny was confused.

"We were married." Carla confessed. Her dad didn't really know that much about her history.

"Oh." Johnny said. "Well I hope it works out this time."

"It will." Peter smiled at the woman he'd never stopped loving.


End file.
